A reflection for Trinity II 'Father's Day' 18th June 2023 by Canon Dean Fostekew
Father’s Day is an invention of the American greetings card company ‘Hallmark’. Well at least that’s what many folk think. We do, however, have a Christian precedent for Father’s Day in the feast of St.Joseph the spouse of Mary which the Church keeps on the 19th March. Today, is not the 19th March and our readings on this second Sunday after Trinity do not specifically offer us a great deal of information on what it takes to be a father or for that matter a parent or care-giver.
The first reading at a stretch might have a ‘fatherly’ understanding where God says to the Israelites; ‘if you do all, I tell you, you will be my people and I will be your God.’ But I’m not too sure how the other readings might be stretched to give us an understanding of Father’s Day.
However, I say let’s claim this secular feast, this invention of a card company for the Church. We keep Mothering Sunday so why not Fathering Sunday? And like that fourth Sunday in Lent not as Father’s day but Fathering Sunday - there is a big difference in the meaning just like Mothering Sunday and Mother’s Day.
Father’s Day is a narrow, gender specific and person specific celebration and although there is little wrong with it, it does exclude those who are not fathers in the traditional sense of the word. People like me. But, if we can see today as a celebration of all that is good about the fathering process or rôle then, we can be more inclusive of our understanding of this day.
A good father, is someone who nurtures, cares for, hopes for and loves those committed to his care. When I became your Rector fourteen years ago on the 14th May, the then Bishop charged me with the ‘Cure of souls’ - not some mystical doctor role but one of caring for and loving all the people in this bit of the Diocese and God’s Kingdom called Murrayfield. He charged me to ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’ the flock here, with him and on his behalf. I am not a biological father but I am a father figure to my two step-sons and I also find myself acting as a father-figure or trusted older adult to some of my younger friends, for a whole variety of reasons.
Because of the roles I find myself taking on I am drawn to the example of St.Joseph, who was a dad to Jesus, head of a household, a spouse and someone who taught his child a trade. Fathering is much more than genetics. It is something that many of us engage in, often without realising that we are doing so. The whole basis of fathering is, however, rooted in the love and example of God’s love shown to us most especially in his Son Jesus. As Jesus showed us, God’s love:
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is unconditional
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it wants the best for each and everyone of us
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it encourages us to desire the best for others
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it ensures that we do unto others only that
which we would want done unto our selves
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it teaches and guides us in all we do
These are good fathering and mothering qualities and characteristics that all Christians are called to adopt and develop in themselves and most especially to put into practice. These were some of the tings I learned from my own Father and those who have also been ‘father’ figures to me and I hope they are trains I have been able to pass on to those God has set me to care for.
I remember vividly, when youngest son knew he was to become a father, somewhat unexpectedly. In his tears he asked me how to be a father to a child when he felt he wasn’t ready to be so responsible. My reply to him was to do nothing but love his child. I told him that was what I had to learn quickly when I came into his and his brother’s lives. I had no idea how to be a ‘father’ but I guessed that if I could love the boys then that might be the best way forward. And love them I do, through the thick and think of their growing up and becoming fathers themselves. I see in them what I learned from my Dad, and they have hopefully learned from their father and from me.
Being a parent or finding oneself in that rôle is not an easy task but it can be one much blessed in many different ways.
So today let’s celebrate these ways of loving that God sets before us and calls us to practice. Let us celebrate fathering and give thanks for those who have been ‘father figures’ to us.